Unfriendly Black Hotties.

Apparently, the humans of the world think I'm standoffish (#isthatonewordortwo) and kind of a biotch before they get to know me. I have heard that more times in my life than I can count on two hands. I know this sounds so incredibly douchey, but I always make better and faster friends with boys than I do with girls. I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with a flirt factor and everything to do with the fact that boys are funnier and more inappropriate than girls are. Also, they laugh at my jokes and that automatically molds a person's friendship. Anyway. Here is a picture of me & two people who told me I was the nicest mean girl they have ever known. They're like the best Ryan Chollet substitutes who ever existed. (DYINGWITHOUTYOURY)

P.S. Have I already told you that I love my job? I think I was doing EFY wrong last year. This summer has been the most amazing of my life. Okay, CARRY ON!

I am tired.

Very tired.
And this is how my Mondays look.

I love that BC KelC. She's good people. Also, I might stab myself in the throat if I have to hear One Direction anymore this summer. Overrated.

WanNora (wannabe Nora).

I've moved to a more adult location where Nora Ephron has become the center of my blogging universe. 

Good things are bound to happen here. 

Stick around probably. 

Love, me. 

Also, love me. 

"One Hundred and Fifty Two insights to my SOUL!"

If I had to write a bio in less than three minutes, one that would navigate a stranger through a great deal of me, it would probably read something like this:

I'm five seven. Raised on a Boeing 757 and am a cheap at cards. My favorite movie is You've Got Mail because I like that part at the end where it's all NY152-is-about-to-cry-and-Shopgirl-sniffles-"I-Wanted-It-To-Be-You-So-Badly." I'm into peanut butter on pancakes, anything but tennis, and I think I'm allergic to Avocados, but nothing can be certain. Come with me if you want to party.

This might be why no one ever wants to date me for real.

However,

You know those times when you're on the brink of one of those things that's scary enough to make your knees knob together? But then you realize that it's "wait, it's never been this good before" and "wait, he opens my car door?" and "WAIT HE WALKS ME ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONT PORCH AND DOESN'T EVEN EXPECT A KISS?"
Well, I'm in the midst of one of those things.

I think.
I think I am.

I mean, could be wrong.
And if I am wrong, what else is new? Sometimes I think I feel things that the other person doesn't feel, and even though I think they're feeling the same things that I am, they mostly just want to kiss me and get on with it. I've had a lot of experience there, and I'm not trying to play the victim or lament, I'm just trying to tell the truth. Getting back to the point, though, in all of those other times, I've been wrong. So, I could be about this one.

But there was that moment I'm always waiting for. The one where everything tightens up in the lens.

The one where you're both sitting on wrought iron chairs and it's sort of windy outside and you're sort of blowing away, and your empty ice cream cups are stuck inside of each other and your spoons overlap. And you wonder if there's a metaphor somewhere in there, but you're not concerned with that because what are metaphors to green eyes and the first pair of deep set dimples you ever documented loving? And you give the answer to a question he asks, which is insignificantly about zoo animals and you're laughing with your head back, hair in your eyes, stain on your skinny jeans, and it's all you.

And he sees it.
What no one has seen before.
There's a glance. It's shorter than a look and long enough to just grab you by the bones. The one that comes when he catches your wide-mouth grin because something was really funny. You're a disastrous flood of crumpled hair and a backwards baseball cap. You watch him lean in his chair, raise both eyebrows, place one hand over his forehead and you swear you can hear him think that you must be the loveliest thing.

And how wonderful it is to feel lovely to him.

And the gamble of being wrong about it all is tragically intoxicating. And I can't stop thinking about what if.

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you and I know that is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

John Green
The Fault In Our Stars

Julius Caesar references and an Austen-esque romantic confession by Augustus Waters. John Green is really nailing it.

The past week of my life and one hundred pics of Ry Chollet (R•EYESHUH•LAY)

I miss Santa B pretty hard.
I also miss the people who cured me of my touch-phobia. They're touchy and I became one of them. #identitycrisisandpeerpressure #everyoneisalwaystouchingeachother

No, but seriously. I mean, I'm still morally against tickling, but this summer, I've had a summer fling with flirting and unnecessary hand holding. Like, all the time.

Anyway, I get to go home on Saturday and see my nieces and nephews. So, there's that. I'm so incredibly excited.

My job is all about hanging out and making sure kids know that God loves them.

Also, Ry Chollet is my E-F-B-F and sends me music videos of himself in his hotel room late at night. Shiz gets real after hours.

That's all I got.

These bruises make for better conversation.

There was a time when I thought I wanted to date you.
There was a time when I thought you were sort of a total DB.
There was a time when I hated my life because you weren't in it.
And then, after too many run-ins with your pure human decency, there was the summer of 2013 when you became sort of like... my best friend.

I'm grateful for your friendship. I am also grateful that it is now okay to crack the "remember that time we made out?" jokes. That's cool now, right?

P.S. I am hating that we worked an entire summer together and this is the only picture I have to show for it. But, secret, I sort of love it a lot, anyway.

I sure want it all for you, Dr. Love. 

So go find it, would you? 

Things about stuff.

I went to Downtown Santa Barbara today to find the police station that they film Psych at. Turns out, cute little Devin led us all astray. That particular courthouse doesn't exist. At least not in Santa B.

Lucky for him, I'm adventurous and wanted to explore. So, we found the most beautiful courthouse in the center of town and danced around it for a while. I talked about Spanish influence in the artwork throughout the building while he pretended to be intrigued.

And then Fergie & I did some sound checks and got insanely microphone happy. Also, her name is legitimately Fergie and she looks like Kim Kardashian.

I'm leaving SB tomorrow & stuff. And guess what! I have approximately 12 hours on the ground in the SLC! My friend, Ryan, is coming to have a Kearns Family Slumber Party and then we are leaving for Denver the next morning. Another session. I don't know what's keeping me going.

Oh, wait. Yeah I do.
Raise the roof.

e-f-bythesea.

I love it here.

I told my dad that I would've been tempted to move here after high school, had I known it existed.

He responded by telling me that flawless weather patterns and a college campus on the beach was just the devil's tool to get people to move to California. 

DADS, AM I RIGHT?

Today was spiritual day at EFY. 

We bore testimony and were close to the spirit. 

And it was wonderful, the way it always is.

But sometimes, it's nice to get away from children and have adult time. 

So, a few of us celebrated 7/11 with free Slurpies from a trek up the road.

And then we walked back to UCSB by way of the beach. 

I mean... MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

Next week I'm in Denver with a few more people I've recently fallen hard for. 

Also, my BFF again. And that's always a good time.

Denver is a Stay-At-Home program. 

Which means PARTY E'RRY NIGHT after the kiddies leave.

I can't even. Right now. I just. I can't.

But seriously. 

Let's just reminisce about the time at the beginning of the summer when I was waiting tables and wanted to die.

And then, let's think about how I drank a Slurpie on the beach and facilitated a conversation 

about The Book of Mormon this afternoon. 

Blessings come. And sometimes out of nowhere. 

I don't like nature or bugs.

Tonight, I went and walked on the beach as my friend, Ryan, and I listened to that song on the intro to Dawson's Creek because it seemed fitting. 

It was dark and there were raccoons. Needless to say, we did not stay on the beach long.

And then, while I was doing laundry, I received a few visitors,

which led to simulated water aerobics and faces on the laundry room window...

for like forty-five minutes. It was so awesome.

And if you're wondering, no one can figure out how Carter can get his face that huge. It is a mystery to us all. 

Also, I have entered into an agreement with these two.

If you use the word "mine" you have to do 10 boy pushups. 

I have already done thirty and I'm pretty sure my arms are not going to work tomorrow.

It's good to be back.

P.S. One day, I'm going to stop updating about my stupid life and I'm going to write real stuff again. That day seems far in the distant future, but maybe it'll come sooner. 

Also, 

I told someone that I don't like nature today, and I felt pretty judged. Lesson learned. Lie about not liking nature if you want friends. And hiking. Tell people you loooove to hike. Even if it's a lie. They seriously eat it that stuff up. But if you don't hike, they start yelling "BURN HER!" Just kidding, that doesn't happen. But I wouldn't be surprised if it did one day. 

To my best.

Hi.
Miss you.

We've been sort of out of touch for a few weeks now and I hate it. You're going to do great things with your life and I can't wait to watch you do them. You're the most well dressed, well groomed, most organized, best math-homework-doer I know and I love you a million Greys-A-Thons, add a Megaplex Theatre size large Sprite and a bag of Peach O's. Can't wait to see you in a few weeks when I get home. Love you, best friend. Don't you forget that.

Love,
Me.

Also, 

Remember that time we weirdly matched? 

And not even on purpose? 

Same brain.

I am going to Santa Barbara tomorrow to be with my friends.

I don't know what happened in Flagstaff, but a few of those people became the loves of my life immediately. I can't wait to see their faces.

Anyway, aside from that, this BC team here in Texas was among the best I've worked with. It could've been largely due to the fact that my best friend, Kelsey, was my BC. And she is so good at what she does. And it was so incredibly fun working alongside her this week. And again, when we meet up in Denver in a week. And then Rexburg for THREE WEEKS. Be jealous that my life is dancing in front of teenagers and For the Strength of Youth pamphlets.

The following pictures are for your viewing pleasure. I loved this week so much.

I danced with my crush TWICE. He taught me how to swing dance. He's a boy named Romney who works at a trophy shop in Provo. He wears good shoes, fitted jeans, and he speaks Spanish. I'm going to confess my love for him someday. I was crushing so hard all week. Is he not adorable?

My co-counselor turned out to not be a complete tool. He is actually a really cool guy. But I definitely made fun of him for brushing his teeth in public. It didn't phase him much. OH, STEEL, you handsome man, you.

I do not mean this in an arrogant, A-Hole way, but my boys were completely obsessed with me this week. It got creepy.

I couldn't remember the last time I blogged.

I'm in San Antonio right now doing a session of EFY. My co-counselor is probably one of the most attractive men I've ever come in contact with, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "I'm just going to tell you right now so things don't get out of hand. I'm dating someone."

...
And he was serious.
...
.....

It was so incredibly douchey that I don't even think he's good looking anymore. Also, he brushes his teeth in public after every meal and I just think that's weird. I mean, what are you trying to prove, bro? BUT NEVER FEAR! We are working together well and playing nice. Even though sometimes every day I accidentally tell my boys to go find their counselor, Jayke, even when that's not their counselor's name. (RIP best week of my life, Flagstaff. You reeeeally did a number on me, Jayke Larson!)

I have recently decided that one day, I'm moving to Texas. I always forget how much I love it until I'm here.

I have nothing else to say, so here is a picture showing you how I use my puppy dog eyes to get the things that I want. This was a SnapChat to a person. He probably couldn't resist, right?