“There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.”


diane setterfield, the thirteenth tale

read the last sentence of this post. that's the title.

what is true love?
"it's when they hug and kiss. and, um, be happy together."
"true love is when you love somebody soooo much. like, us girls, we love... chris brown. you don't know him."

what's the perfect date?
"you take somebody to applebee's. and you buy them hot wings."



i finally bought this movie. mostly because i'm partial to raw film and uncomfortable conversation.
also because i love it when little kids analyze big kid concepts. like love.

but let's be honest, the ultimate reason is because i have an inexplicably mad love for michael cera...can inexplicable be used as an adverb? i don't know the answer to that.

"who's. chasing. you? nobody. get it?"

oh, the clarity that comes with harsh reality and friends who tell you like it is.
justifying and making exceptions.
it's never going to change the facts, and that blows.
it really, really, really blows.
however, i'mma handle this one like a champ. like julianne potter.

and "by god, there will be dancing." 

p.s. tonight i started nailing things to my wall at midnight.
it didn't exactly get me any friends.
p.p.s. this song is quite possibly the best one i have heard in a long time.
we were all silently thinking it (i was, at least). i'm glad somebody finally had the guts to write it. this is why i love her. (also, if you hate swearing, probably this song isn't going to be your most favorite... sorry...) without further ado, my angry anthem.

midnight sister phone calls.

some of my favorite snippets from tonight's conversation.
possibly racist, and possibly sacrilegious.
but, we speak our minds.

some author's notes:
--somehow misuse of the churchill quote always seems to sneak into our phone calls, how winston probably rolls in his grave with every new "keep calm" reference... how women of the pinterest generation couldn't explain where the quote came from to begin with. it has become a staple in conversation. something we love to parody.
--"the mormons" are commonly a topic of discussion. yes, it's a generalization. but we're allowed to use it... because it's a demographic we're particularly knowledgeable of. it's like the i'm-the-only-one-who-can-make-fun-of-my-little-brother-because-he's-my-little-brother idea, but different. "the mormons" are casually thrown in every once in a while to make ourselves feel justified in worshipping things we almost shouldn't. i.e. dax shepherd and kristin bell, mcdonald's caramel frappes, rebel wilson...
--UBH: unfriendly black hottie. 


court: i'm never getting my eyebrows waxed by a white girl ever again. these brows are only to be touched by the asians from now on. i have learned my lesson.
amy: i know. i totally feel your pain.
court: and do you know, she used gloves on my eyebrows! insinuating that i had an eyebrow diseases! jada never uses gloves. she knows i don't have any disease. and she waxes in 7 minutes or less. and she gives me a face massage. also, white girl salons have that smell... you know? it's like the white-girl-salon smell. if cady had a scent...
amy: "guilt & chanel no. 5". gilmore girl references are always appropriate. 

court: i'm taking an archaeology class. did you know that? because it's true. yes, amy. archaeology.
amy: no, i don't think i knew that.
court: oh, and get THIS. i usually sit next to a kid from hawaii. and he's got blonde hair. doesn't that make you feel weird?
amy: why would that make me feel weird?
me: i don't know, i just always wonder, "if you're from hawaii, then why are you white?" i call it the karen smith complex. seriously, white people from hawaii don't make you feel weird?
amy: not since they joined the union...

amy: remember how the last time we went to california, we kept over-using the term, UBH?
court: k but it was a valid overuse... they were unfriendly, but also good looking.

amy: so i guess the church came out with a statement saying that cold, caffeinated drinks are not of the devil.
me: good. now the mormons will get off our back about the amount of DC we consume. and we'll probably be allowed to drink diet coke in sacrament. i can just see it now: keep calm and coke & cupcake on, coming to a canvas bag near you.
amy: mormons: allowed to drink diet coke now, so gotcha.

maybe i would have been something you'd be good at.

tonight, i listened to that tegan & sara song about a thousand times as I drove downtown logan. it was vacated at 11:00 per usual, and i began thinking about why it never works for me. why i get so close and watch it fall apart.

either way, mouth open or closed, tragedy strikes: he is forced away from me; we never speak again. he vacates the country, we both lose touch. he lives down the street, and i try to avoid him on campus. while still searching the crowds. because one day, i'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

not the point.

there is a gentleman in one of my classes this semester. yesterday, he wore a plaid shirt.

this is the part where i get it together, and the universe cooperates.

snips and snails, and puppy dog tails.

maybe i'll call you something for short, or maybe i'll call you junior.
no, i'll never do that; i'll never call you junior.
i wonder which you'll prefer: sailboats or piano lessons.
or, maybe you'll hate them both.
but i hope you'll like me the most.
i'll know the line of your nose, and the curls in your hair,
your pant size, and how much breakfast you'll eat.
we'll learn about the airplanes in our blood, learn of the places you've yet to go.
and i already love you.

hey, just a quick thought:

so help me if cake is smashed in my face on my wedding day...

actually, so help you if that happens.

if you choose not to heed this warning, we'll see how funny it seems after the party.


until then, smash away, home boy.

love, me.