Scrumptulescent.

"Please pray for me as I attempt to conquer the world and graduate college." 

"Hurry up. Finish your degree and get back here."

"Only if you promise me more rainy Arlington Saturdays and Georgetown wanderings."

"I promise."

Answers the phone and greets me by name. Every time. Tells me to call after I watch the last episode of that show, but I get too scared that conversation will go too deep too fast, so I never do. Hates the word cogniscent because "does that word even have an actual definition?" (It does.) Appreciates the sunset from The Jefferson most.

I was so in love with my life last week.

DeeCee.

Hi! 

Brb, headed to D.C. in the morning to tour by day and rule by night. Gonna take over the world with my best friend, Paige, and charm the hell out of a handsome man I once described as "sort of, I don't know, dad-ish." You know. Make him remember how brilliant/hilarious/adorable I am (he will). Don't you know that's what you do when you fly across the country for a person? (I'm learning to) make everything casual like "Oh, sure I'll come visit, but I don't know when I'll see you. But remember how hard I make you laugh? Remember Boston? Look at me! Talk to me! WORSHIP ME!" 

But anyway. Can't believe I'll be at the Washington Monument tomorrow night with good company and INSPO TO BOOT (Paige Anderson).

There are two goals: don't get lost on the Metro, and do whatever Olivia Pope would do (WWOPD).

ATTN: 2015 BEING MY YEAR, BACK ON.

Me last week. Drinking an enormous soda. Just before the stomach flu destroyed all of my hopes and dreams.

Turns out (aside from a major stomach flu that I haven't had since the third grade) 

2015 IS STILL VERY MUCH MY YEAR. 

I'll stand my ground this time with that statement or you'll never believe anything I say ever again.

Remember when I posted that really depressing collage of pictures at the end of last summer and said something like "LIFE'S NOT FAIR" and "I HATE EVERYTHING"? Me, too. Life was like that for a hot minute and I was scared of something I felt really strongly about slipping through my fingers. Some(thing/one) that/who made me happy to sit in an office for eight hours a day. 

(You know, he used to leave Post-It notes on my computer screen when I took my lunch break. They always said insignificant things like "Hi, how are you?" and I miss them.)

And guess what. Instead of destruction and Schindler's list-y stuff, for five months, there was cell communication, talk of a baby daddy bringing home the bacon, a few I'm-so-lonely-here-I-can-barely-stand-its from both parties, and by mid-December, there was a plan. 

Beginning of January, that plan branched off into two really lovely days:

-New Year's Eve, where I left my family in Texas mid-holiday to catch a party. I wore a sparkly blouse and a tutu skirt. I can't remember what he wore, but he told me he missed talking to me and wished we could do more of that.

-The second plan was an afternoon lunch. I sat across the table from a him at a cafe. He wanted to talk big ideas, tailored work suits, and Gillian Flynn. Had to pinch myself after how well that one turned out. Because he is UN. REAL.

And then, late last week, he invited me, so I gave myself the OK to make another plan. 

To jet-set across the country for a Lincoln Memorial moment.

Because I'm 23 and saying yes to life this year! Why?

BECAUSE DAMMIT IF 2015 ISN'T MINE. (It is, btw.)

Should I make another Office reference? KAY!

This is right after Jim gets back from New York where he has just spent a few days with Karen.

One of my favorite Office moments ever. In the next episode, he's back from Stamford.

Life is weird, y'all. 

But, like, good weird probably. 

2015 might be my year, revisited.

Gonna continue Office references about Jim moving to Stamford until I feel better about my own stupid life. Dare you to name one person who was even Team Karen anyway.

(P.S. Haha about 2015 being my year.)

2015 might be my year.

     In a train that led us out of Boston, we sat together on a sloping bench near the sliding door.
     "So, what made you decide to leave?" I asked.
     He scratched the back of his head and raised both eyebrows the way my dad does when he's about to give me financial advice. "Uh," he breathed, "I don't, uh. I don't really know, actually," he shrugged,  "Sorry, that's not really an answer. I just--I don't have anything tying me down at home, and I got this job offer that would've been too hard to refuse. So, I took it," he paused for a moment, stroked his third day scruff. "And, uh. I guess I'm going." My forehead creased. "I think I just started realizing that I'm not going to be in this spot forever, you know? Like, I'm twenty-four. And I love the city, so I'm going for a while. To get it out of my system, before, you know," he motioned with his hands, "a wife. Kids. Mortgage."
     "Right," I nodded, "sounds like you know what you want."
     "I love it back home, but--"

***

Oh, nothing, just wanted to ask you if you remember that episode of The Office where Jim comes back from Stamford. 

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday, and that episode repeated in my mind.

***

The train door slid open, jolting us both. My curls, fallen from humidity, stuck to my lipstick. I looked up at him without regrouping.
     "But you want to go," I finished. He nodded.
     "I do. I just want to try leaving," breaking our contact, his eyes moved to the ground, "and see if I come back."

     We stood up in unison and exited, leaving the conversation in the car, but I'll never forget it.

I haven't launched it yet (because it has to be SO rad first) but I have a new website and I hope it's going to make all of the publishers in the world drop what they're doing and come offer me all of the jobs.

Just kidding.

No, seriously, like, that'd be cool, but mostly, I just want a creative outlet to share with friends, family, and all of those boys I've been writing about over here who want to see the things I've written, but who can't actually see the things I've written because what would I even say? "Don't pay attention to June-December 2012 because all of those pieces were written about how head over heels I was with you (even though our dates were stupid)", "That piece about a business trip to Boston had nothing to do with that one time you and I went on a business trip to Boston", and "The seven thousand+ essays I've written about your plaid shirts have nothing to do with you, Jude! Coincidence, duhhhh."

No.

So, new website, here I come! I'll let you know when I launch!

(P.S. I have seriously been watching so much Scandal. Can't wait until Imy parents ask me how finals week went and I can say "IT'S HANDLED" like I'm Olivia FREAKING Pope.)

"But by God, there will be dancing."

I watched My Best Friend's wedding again tonight and almost cried several times because no matter how much my life progresses, I'm still the Julianne Potter and someone else is still the Michael O'Neal. And do you know how hard that is to come to terms with? 

Anyway, all of this led to an emotional conversation with my best friend, Austin. You know, the George. The one who grounds me and reminds me that "Michael's chasing Kimmie, you're chasing Michael, and who's. chasing. you... Nobody. Get it?"

I love him like WOAH.