let's retrace our steps for a minute.

saturday, my cuzzy love and i went to the merlin olsen park farmer's market. saturdays in logan are just the peachiest. you should visit.

also, today was the day that i transformed from a carefree teenager, to a classy adult student again.

it was the first day of school.

full of art history, aaron carter alva c. neighbors, and the quadside cafe.

and here are the most noteworthies of this week (noteoworthy. it's plural now. and a noun.):

1. missy's bedtime movie choices: the dark knight, or ten things i hate about you. in spanish. tough call...

2. reuniting with kybee after a long and lonesome summer, deprived of her. not anymore! the yogi bear bunch is back in logan again, suckas! well, half of us anyway...

3. discovering a box reading, "botox reminders" in caity's closet. in and of itself, it's comical.

yes. the fun is back, kids.

i don't miss the white cabinets, purple doors, or jb shrine.

however, wrapping yarn around jake gubler's door, attempting to lock him in,

cam sneaking us into his room to hear karl sleep talk, 

slamming brooke and kylee's drawers into the wall of the 402 as loud as possible. as we know the boys are asleep on the other side... just because we're the most courteous neighbors...

and singing karaoke at three in the morning...

these are all things that will be missed deeply this year.

but i guess sometimes we have to grow up and find new adventures.

(like our latest entertainment... getting uncomfortably close to freshmen boys at concerts... the tools wearing flat rimmed hats and basketball shorts... seeing how long it takes them to run away.)

i take it back. 

i'm probably never going to be a grown up. 

the little courty that could.

this morning, menstral morning sickness came back to play with me.

but i put on my big girl pants, rolled out of bed, jumped into the shower, popped like twenty midol, and finished unpacking the rest of my boxes.

then, i decided to reward my adult-like behavior with a webster's dictionary and thesaurus. 

the satisfaction that comes with flipping through hundreds of pages when at a loss for words is a simple pleasure in life, and i refuse to give it up. call me old fashioned, i'll probably say thanks. 

 ...

the good news is, school starts on monday, and i couldn't be more excited. 

i purchased the usual pile of school supplies, and have somehow convinced myself that i can handle a french class every day, and two art history classes within a three hour time span. 

because like i said earlier. big girl pants.

it's a good thing i own a pair.

and because you've made it to thursday, you deserve this:

{happy thursday, people.}

writing aloud.

nutella toast and dan in real life.
the cure all.
especially for a case of the unspoken blues.
which i have admittedly come down with.

i blame the sweet talk.


 

home sweet private room.

hampton ridge, apt. #101, room with the windowsill.
life is good.

andie invited me to a 90's party that she's throwing this weekend at our house,
ashley only answers my questions one word at a time,
i went to high school with amanda and never met her... but now she lives across the hall,
my cousin shares my jack & jill,
missy is down the hall come friday,
jordan up the stairs,
and the other two, i cannot for the life of me remember the names of. so i refer to them as thing 1 & thing 2.

my bedroom is a mess of pictures, mod podge, screw drivers, and command strips.
but the pisarro that i purchased from the national gallery in london hangs on the wall beside me, i was greeted with a special little letter upon arrival, and my mckenzie sent me away with an anthro blue volcano candle, big enough to light an entire country.
because she's my best friend, and knows me all too well.

yes, life is good. 

hay-ulp.

i think i've lost my mojo.

anything that i write lately ends up in my draft bin. which i hate.
writer's block. support the cause.

so. for now, i will tell you that tomorrow morning, i'll get into my little green car, and drive north to the tundra where i will spend the next nine months of my life. in school. and probably in nine feet of snow. i love my cache valley, i do. i think i'm converted to logan. it is the most charming city in the whole world. OH GOSH, somebody stop me. before i get too mushy-gushy, would you like a peak inside of my playlist? okay. i'll give you one. but only because you begged. 

matt nathanson music saved my life one time.
and it is currently saving me again. big time.

and if you were me, you would have practically peed your pants when you found out that he was coming in concert this fall. guess who's going? me. shocker there. i'm in love with this new single.

have a happy tuesday. mine will be spent unloading boxes and meeting my new besties. beat that, i dare you.

a few famous people i know.

inspired by lauren morrison, this happened tonight.

my life: hollywood version.

yes, i understand that my parents are george and nina banks. it was on purpose.

 sistery julie.

her husbie, dermont. aka marc.

 my brother, mike. he's a babe.

sister-in-law, ashley 1. she's an even bigger babe.

 ohhh andy bernard/griffin. you're a great brother.

 brother benny! slash j.d.

this is my sister in law, jennifer love hewitt/ashley 2.

she's pretty and stuff.

 my sister sookie is the funnest! love ya, sook ams!

 identical personalities. it freaks me out.

 court was in a knight's tale. i bet you didn't know i had a famous sister-in-law. with my name.

ohhh like you didn't already guess...

everyone should do this. it's the most fun thing ever.

saturday night is for winners.

wedding attendance in a room full of wardies. it is always a rather uncomfortable charade, let's be honest. the bride is usually someone i spent my primary days with, and her new husband, more often than not is painfully awkward. it's okay, i look past it. however, i cannot look past the fact that not five minutes post arrival, the two socialites that i came with are virtually m.i.a., leaving me to fend for myself at the buffet table.

let's talk about that.

ah, the buffet table. a watering hole of agonizing conversation. i usually try my hardest to avoid eye contact, but their approach is so stealth and unavoidable. they don't need eye contact, these pros. ohhhh no. they need answers. and they'll do anything to get them. you know "them". those who've been gardening as you've ridden your bike down beachwood drive. they've seen you through braces, bad haircuts, and your wet-hair-to-church phase in high school. so, naturally, they're practically stalking the adult-ish you. pining for you to confess every detail. and they've strategically placed their questions while you reach for the salad tongs, seeing as you are unable to dodge them.

the dialogue:
mrs. x: miss courtney! how are you, dear?
myself: i'm fabulous, and yourself? [keeping conversation light, and to the point.]
x: great!
m: yes! good to see you... [walk away... walk away, fast.]
[arrive at table. forget drink. run into mrs. x.]
x: where are you sitting? i think i'd like to sit with you for awhile, you know... just catch up stuff!
m: oh... just over there. [point vaguely. get drink, return to table. she found it. along with mr. x. greaaat. sit down.]
x: so. tell us. where are you going to school?
m: utah state. [stuff face. less talking that way.]
mr. x: mrs. x, stop pestering the girl. she's eating. [bless you, sir.]
x: oh, she's fine. so, let's get to the goods. are you dating anyone? [she leans in. mr. x, suddenly now highly interested.]
m: [blank stare. still a full mouth.]
mom: whyyy no, she's not! [mom? where did you come from? perfect timing to make yourself reappear... shoot me while i'm down.]
x: i'm bold, i know. but i just had to ask! you're such a lovely girl. don't fret too much; it will come with time, dear.
m: [closed caesar salad mouth smile.] thank you.
mother dearest: she's not dating anyone, but ask her how many missionaries she's writing, mrs. x! [cue glare exchange between a daughter and her mother.] go ahead, ask her!  [clearly she is unaffected by glare exchanges.]
x: how many?
m: ohhh, i don't know... let's talk about something else.
x: come on... ten? twelve?
m: not sure... i'm moving this week! that's exciting!
mother dear: if not more! isn't that exciting! but none of them seriously. just friends.
x: well that's wonderful! good for you! you'll find him.
m: i'm just gonna go now....

but i don't. and i continue being victimized by the wardies. one food mouth shove at a time.

after such a traumatizing ritual, the bouquet toss is not for me. i take that back. the bouquet toss has never been for me. and i refuse to participate willingly. something about the idea of "you're next" just rubs me the wrong way. it is only under a forceful hand, the inability to exit the reception prior to, or sheer unlucky circumstance that i place myself in such a predicament. well, that, or my dear sweet parents are under some delusional impression that a bouquet toss is the ideal photo opportunity.

so i get stuck.

beyonce starts her jingle. girl-in-the-red-dress and i, well. we're the lucky ones... the only two. you heard me correctly. just the two of us. and an entire room of grandparents and single men checking out the merchandise. the d.j. starts his descend to number one, but the bride becomes too hasty as she chucks her handful on the number two. the roses fly over my head and into the corner behind me. we turn our heads to look.
    
"you gonna get that?" utters girl-in-the-red-dress. really? it is clear to everyone that this is not a standard toss.
"i guess..." my awkward body steps over to the almost dead flowers. then, the same awkward body raises the bouquet and says, "hey! i got it!".

the bride and i take quite the cumbersome photo, and i am out the door faster than you can say honeymoon. which i'm sure was leaps and bounds more uncomfortable than anything i experienced last night.

needless to say, no more weddings for a while. please.

vintage yellow.

there is paint in my ears,
on my chin,
in the crevices of my fingernails,
drip-dried down my leg.
vintage yellow, to be exact.

yes, tonight i unleashed a powerful monster inside of me.
the bad kind.
the kind that gets obsessed, and never quits pestering my brain.

speaking of a pestering brain...

the thoughts never stop.
you know,
those thoughts that are hard to swallow.
because they are too wonderful to host if they are uncertain.
...too lovely to even fall asleep to.
yes. i have a pestering brain.

but more than that, i have paint splatters all over my skin.
because i happen to love old furniture and refinishing it.
which was the point of this entire post.
sorry for the ramble.
and it's lack of poetic rhetoric.

a few things i'm sure of:

public shoulder kissing is tacky.
blake is a tool.
pavelka... misunderstood. and tweets.
kirk is normal, and also super hot.
chris harrison's job is better than yours.
casey + vienna + jake love hate triangle = my kind of monday night.
things are pretty screwed up when michelle money is all cotton candy and rainbows.
william is virtually invisible.
ames is adorable.


and bachelor pad has changed my life forever.

never have words spelled my name so clear.

"i'm ready, ready to run free. i'd like to know what lies beyond the blue sea.

you live once, so drink the honey; i learn my lessons from the birds and the bees." 

lucy schwartz, i want the sky.

ohhhh i can feel it in my bones.

i'm all jittery.
foundations of western civilization: modern.
1500 to present. 
myyy lanta, i'm excited.
massachio to michelangelo, ghiberti and giotto,
courbet, millet, rousseau,
constable, turner,
degas, renoir, van goh, and pisarro, (who happens to be my favorite impressionist)
mondrian, rothko, polluck!
i think i can feel my blood bubbling up inside of me in excitement.
if ever there was a reason to be excited for school to start, it would be this one.

"It seems to me that if one wants to be a serious artist one must constantly immerse oneself in solitude."
--edgar degas

my life in words as of late:

pristine.
to be so intoxicated by such an emotion.
uncorrupted; unsullied.

consistent.
like clock work, with more pages.


vindicated.
yes, i have been vindicated,
parts of me validated.
and it tastes ohhh so sweet.

surprise.
the element that never ceases to disappoint.
especially this time.

content.
better than before, even.

i guess i'm back from vegas.

whaaaatta trip.

seriously.

i had so much fun.

it was one of those no pressure vacations where everyone was completely

relaxed, and there for the sole purpose of enjoying each other's company.

and enjoying eachother's company, we did!

there probably wasn't one moment when we weren't almost peeing our pants with laughter.

we shifted back and forth between dirty jokes, and making fun of densley's green tongue.

and we loved every second of it.

if you'd like to read a play by play,

go meet chelsee.

she so kindly provided one.

probably one of the funniest moments of the trip was caught in this shot.

we were sitting on the top floor of caesar's palace, as family after family kept walking by

asking us if we'd like them to take our picture.

and time after time, we replied no. 

which led to so much laughing. seen at the end of our special little video.

completely candid, people.

and we like each other so much that we maybe made another.

you love us.

possibly the best part of this trip was at the tail end

when as we're passing through beaver on our way home, a white truck full of boys

slips their number out the window. 

and we just so happened to call it.

we found out that these 6 boys were from kaysville, fresh off their missions, returning from a week long disneyland trip, and completely adorable.

so why would we not agree to dinner with them?

the situation was hilarious, and slightly awkward. 

but we made some friends, and most importantly, we are now all unafraid of the inevitable:

becoming friends with returned missionaries.

these girls are my most favorite, and i wish i could go back tonight.

and not to mention, the hospitality of my brother and sister-in-law!

i loved being woken up by davis tickling my legs in the morning, bailey serenading me, and miss taytum being all smiley!

i wish every morning was like that! 

thanks mike & ash! you're the best! love you!

ash, chels, haley, and rachie dens.

such pretty friends.

so guess what came in the mail...

a letter! 

all the way from russia! 

and hello.

it has got to have the coolest stamps.

i will probably keep it forever.

sure do love that austin kid.

i'd love to stay awhile, but i fear i 'mustache'.

i'll be living the weekend up vegas style with a few of the loveliest girls i know.

{getting to see my brother and his cute family is always a good excuse to get out of town! can't wait!}

...

see you lovelies on monday!

my beautiful friends are this beautiful: