the home lock screen says it all:

luckily, i am extremely predictable.
and any person can come to understand me simply by waking up my cell phone.
what would you learn by pressing my home button, you ask?

1. my roommates and i suck back milk in the same way a three day sober drunk would destroy a few rounds of beer. translation: stefan salvatore on human blood.
2. slutty music with a vulgar rap and talk of substance abuse? just keeping it classy...
3. justin bieber has got the moves like jagger, and basically, i worship them. hence, he is the first thing i see in the morning. we are soooo in love.

it's awesome how deep i am.