a few things you should know about courtney kearns:

courtney kearns does not. do. football.

and while the rest of the family prays that the aggies will beat the utes,

courtney kearns does this.

which shouldn't really surprise anyone.

thing number two you should know:

courtney kearns drinks mcdonald's caramel frappes.

because they're hella good.

and yes, she did just say hella. 

sometimes courtney kearns leans a little bit to the tacky side, and she's okay with that.

numero tres:

courtney kearns plans whimsical trips to texas, drives to the SLC, and then doesn't get on her flight.

either one of them.

then, to prove that she has fed her soul, just by being in the airport,

she pulls one of these.

and then she eats an entire caramel apple in under ten minutes by herself. because she can.

hence, the food baby.

next:

she thinks this house on 1st east, a boy with dimples like john davidson, and babies with sticky jam hands could make her happy for the rest of her life. that ivy alone tickles her pink. and she'd give her right arm to grow some just like it. "someday," she says.

and last, but not least,

walking in the kitchen to this sight on an autumn friday afternoon sure does make a girl want to be just like her mama.

courtney kearns thinks this, yes, but she also knows that you do, too. so, she stated it as a fact of life.
 an indefinite statement, you know?

now that you know five things about courtney kearns, you should also know that she loves her life.

the end.