"Ohhhh, I'm no one's wife, but... ohhh, I love my life! And all that jazz."

Let me explain.

First of all, I've met too many Fred Caselys in my life, ya know? Not that I'd kill any of them... but... let me explain.

One day, in high school, my friend, Emily, and I watched Chicago while it was on T.V... We fell in love. Because 1. we hated a majority of the male population and 2. hello, that movie is eye candy. The dancing... like, are you kidding me? Roxy Hart & Velma Kelly.

Growing up, any time there was a big production in Salt Lake, we were there. Road trips, there was always Les Miserables, Pirates of Penzance, or Phantom. My first trip to New York, we saw Mary Poppins and The Drowsy Chaperone... I became addicted to the writing of these shows. They were brilliant! Witty, beautiful... Oh! Two years ago, while I was in London, my parents took my sister and me to see Chicago in London's west end. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. The costumes were all uniform, the band was center stage rather than in the pit, and I fell even more in love with Chicago than I'd ever been before.

The other day, I found it at Walmart. I couldn't believe I didn't own it yet! An outrage! I bought it (obviously) and watched it today (twice) and am still in awe with the way it's written. I mean, court scenes juxtaposed beside Vaudeville acts, making the point that they're one in the same... the idea that The Defense is a tap dance? Manipulation of the press and public opinion using ventriloquy?!

How about just watch these, and see what I mean.

And about all the Fred Caselys in the world... like I said. I've met my fair share of them.

(^This one is my most favorite.)

^And then there's this brilliance... 

I'm telling you, I'm going to write a story like this one day, and you'll all see me accept my Oscar for best original screenplay. Just you wait and see.