I always really appreciate it when others post inspirational anything on social media sites. I particularly appreciated it this morning when a friend of mine posted a scripture to Facebook.
I have been sick with a cold for about a week and on top of that, I have really been struggling with different things, a lot harrier than the common cold. Like, struggling in ways I never thought I would struggle. But I guess that's what happens when you let your guard down. The adversary picks up on that stuff like mosquitos to blood.
I have had a lot going on inside my head and haven't been able to sort through all of it. I've never been one to come down on myself. Like, ever. I always just decide that when I'm failing at something, well I've failed, and I can always give it another try later. This comes with my ability to resist being disciplined in any form, and the bad habit I have of giving up on things (this is making me sound like a fantastic job candidate!). I have always considered myself a B average student because I couldn't care less about perfect grades or The Dean's List. It gets me into lots of trouble sometimes. But this is not really about school. It's about me. And how failing is necessary.
I took two NyQuil last night and was out, I mean OUT, at 7:30, which means I was up and stirring around 5. It isn't my normal routine, although, I would kind of like to make it so. Anyway, after I said my prayers last night, asking Father help me get through this trial, I lie in bed with a calm reassurance that everything was going as planned, that I was going to get through it because that's the way God has designed our lives. You just get through it, regardless of whether you think you're going to or not. After that, I fell peacefully asleep until this morning. I woke up not necessarily wanting to read my scriptures, but hearing a voice in my head telling me to. I ate breakfast and the voice persisted. I tried to watch some morning television, and there the voice was again. I got on Facebook, and a girl I met over the summer posted a scripture. That was it. That was the final straw. Time to break out that little blue book.
But then, there were so many distractions! Bradley Cooper and Tom Hanks were going to be on The Today Show in a few minutes! Good Morning America was broadcasting crazy power outages across the country! I watched for a while, and heard that voice. Read! it said. Okay, well, I'll just keep the commercials on mute until the show comes back on, then I'll take a reading break and watch, I thought. And then, after saying that, I felt pathetic, so I walked over to the television set and switched it off. Feeling liberated, if only slightly, I opened up my scriptures to the verses my friend had posted.
"Thus we may see that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name. Yea, thus we see that the gate of heaven is open unto all, even to those who will believe on the name of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. Yea, we see that whosoever will, may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked--and land their souls, yea, their immortal souls, at the right hand of God in the kingdom of heaven, to sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and with Jacob, and with all our holy fathers, to go no more out." Helaman 3:27-29
AND THEN, BAM.
I'm not totally healed yet; I've got a long way to go. But, I feel at peace knowing that trusting in God to carry me through my trials is the only way I can get through this life. And I don't know if you know God the way I do, but if you don't, I know he lives to give you guidance and blessings. And I know that if you just throw all you've got at him, regardless of how little you think you've got to throw, if you ask for His help, help will be on the way faster than you can even imagine. I know this because I've tried it. I know that if I pray to God, He hears me. And I know that he hears you, too. He created the earth and everything in it, and he know our names. Individually. Knows that you struggle, too. Best of all, he knows how to help you through. There are simple recipes for a more smooth-running life in The Book of Mormon, and regardless of what you've heard might be in there, it brings peace. Read it for yourself to feel it. God doesn't abandon His people. He simply tries their faith and rescues them when they humble themselves to call upon Him.
"Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God." Helaman 3:35
I'm so happy you shared this little journey. That Helaman verse is just beautiful and really uplifting.
ReplyDeleteI'm the SAME way with being a B average and not worrying about it at all. I like that I don't sweat the small things...but sometimes I get myself into trouble because I start to not sweat...any things. Which sounds gross, I don't mean literally sweat, obviously. But I'm sending my best wishes to you and hope you're able to fully heal soon. And NYQUIL! YES! Best medicine ever.