the f word.

i feel like i have lost the energy to do everything today; i have lost the energy to even type, yet I’m forcing myself to punch these keys in hopes that my brain focuses on something else. anything else.

i wish i could sit in a bath full to the top with bubbles and hot water. all. day. long. but that is just not realistic. so here I sit punching and punching away.

kill me.

i can feel my stomach's heartbeat. and i don't even think my stomach has one of those. my hands are clammy and i keep shaking. i'm hot and cold, and chills have spotted my body. i fear that the flu is the dreaded result.

please no.

there is too much to do. between finals and moving, i don't know how i would cope with a stupid thing like the f word. i hate that word.

i have tried so hard to keep my immune system clean and strong this whole semester. and now, so close to the finish line, the light at the end of the tunnel, this happens to me. i haven't been able to eat healthy for a few days. and also my body will not let me sleep.

talk about exhausted.

and a week before my birthday? and christmas? seriously??

but there is always something a little bit positive.

i got a letter in the mail, complete with weekly postage via the interweb! thank goodness! i guess all of your prayers worked!

now could you pray that i don't get sick...?