the mayan is the devil, himself. he is self aware, and makes me cry. on purpose.

mexican food and i are acquaintances. that is all. we are not friends, nor will we ever be. when we are forced to see each other at a mutual spot, we smile politely, and continue onward. no catching up is necessary; we both feel the same way.

i have problems.

i'm addicted to reality t.v. 

doesn't matter what it is. 

i can always find a reason to watch. 

and now, apparently, i watch the glee project. 

meet my reason:

his name is cameron mitchell. 

he has a voice, and a soul; 

he wears plaid and cardigans.

at the same time.

we're planning an autumn wedding.

in other news, 

i can't sleep.

the sun ate my body today.

and also, snot is relentless. and taking over.

following at a close second are tissues discarded from the box beside me.

allergy season is wicked, team. and i'm not into that.

 

so i'll probably just lie on this couch getting caught up on tivo {eating ice cream and cold peaches} until the sneezing subsides. or possibly until my skin is back to its normal temperature.

 whichever comes first.

i could kill

the person responsible for abstract writing. i hate them almost as much as i hate joy behar.

groundhog day is a joke. one to fill the void of one laaaame winter.

ohh the things. i can no longer do.

drink soda pop.
stay up past 2 a.m.
eat chicken without being paranoid.
actually, eat any meat without being paranoid.
eat sweets before bed.
lay down right after i eat.
wake up ridiculously late.
eat junk food.
drown myself in candy.
touch anything public and not wash my hands.
take reeeeally long afternoon naps.
have a red face without being positive that a fever is involved.
be around sick people.
breathe sick people air.
be away from my parents for more than two weeks.

alright, winter. it's time you exit now. i'm tired of being cooped up with all of these sick germs floating around. you know i love you.. a lot.. and couldn't wait for you to get here.. but you were a dud this year. and you have overstayed your welcome. come back later when you're ready to be best friends again.


...more of this



less of this...


p.s. spring...
i'll tolerate being alone on lover's holiday for one more year. but i swear... you'd better provide joseph gordon leavitt's equivalent come march.

i didn't think i asked for their heads on a silver platter...

today was great.
until i thought i'd be proactive and pay a bill...
...which still wasn't even the worst part... a 35$ bill i can handle.
the idiots that run the over-the-phone customer service line, however...

they're a different story.

it's like they deliberately make paying your bill... your teeny tiny 35$ bill... the hardest thing in the universe.
give me a break.

i listened to robot voices tell me which buttons to push, what things to say, when to say them, etc. etc. etc.
then, i called a different number. which led to actual humans, richard and vanessa, who were actually the opposite of help. coming to me live, from new york city.

i think i repeated myself several times, getting angrier and angrier by the minute. {and showing it, i might add. the not-so-occasional flip in my tone grew louder and snottier by the second. in my defense, there's only so much psycho babble you can take after the twentieth minute.}

it's like, richard. vanessa. WHY DO YOU WORK FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.

whoever hired that dynamic duo should be fired. pronto. along with dick and nessy.

and just so you know... those morons couldn't understand how to figure out a way for me to pay over the phone... even though it's in their job description... so now i have to send a payment all the way to florida. cool, guys.

again. idiots.


that's all.

its all gone away since the doldrum days came.

let me dedicate this post to my lovely friend slash band, wakey!wakey!.
{hence the title.}

first of all, let me just say...
ohhh i love you wakey!wakey!.
i love you lots and lots.
if you haven't heard of this guy before, you should go here.
the way he plays the piano makes me weak at the knees a little.
okay, a lot.
the title of the album...
almost everything i wish i'd said the last time i saw you.
i love it when real life and poetry clash.
like that title.
because everyone can relate. i can relate. can you?
it's a beautiful relation and i'm obsessed with it.

so back to the doldrums.

i feel like everything is like...
bleh.
you know?
when the doldrums sink in and you can't rid yourself of them.
give me a break.
or take it away, rather.

i have been seeeeeriously dreading the termination of my lovely little christmas break.

but although i hate to admit it, i am a person of structure and schedule.
...along with any other "s" words that mean organized.
i think this whole, "i stay up until all hours of the morning and wake up at noon" thing has
got. to. stop.
i feel like doing nothing all day long.
i eat cereal in front of a movie every morning at around 1 p.m. and i can't take it anymore.
and besides the fact that i am a pathological hypochondriac, i keep thinking i'm sick.
but i'm not! i know i'm not!
i just need something to do, something to keep my mind off of aforementioned doldrums.

so in short, today was the first time in months that i have been happy to get back to logantown.
i reeeeally need to occupy my mind with anything.


this impressionist painting sums up my brain right now.
edouard manet and his avant-garde ways...
this girl in bar at the folies-bergere obviously has the doldrums.
in case you were wondering.

bless you, school.


and p.s. ...for the record, i think ryan reynolds is really handsome.
even more handsome than ashton kutcher.

yes. i just said that. me. i just said that.
i know. i couldn't believe it either. but i did.

{happy weekend!}

the f word.

i feel like i have lost the energy to do everything today; i have lost the energy to even type, yet I’m forcing myself to punch these keys in hopes that my brain focuses on something else. anything else.

i wish i could sit in a bath full to the top with bubbles and hot water. all. day. long. but that is just not realistic. so here I sit punching and punching away.

kill me.

i can feel my stomach's heartbeat. and i don't even think my stomach has one of those. my hands are clammy and i keep shaking. i'm hot and cold, and chills have spotted my body. i fear that the flu is the dreaded result.

please no.

there is too much to do. between finals and moving, i don't know how i would cope with a stupid thing like the f word. i hate that word.

i have tried so hard to keep my immune system clean and strong this whole semester. and now, so close to the finish line, the light at the end of the tunnel, this happens to me. i haven't been able to eat healthy for a few days. and also my body will not let me sleep.

talk about exhausted.

and a week before my birthday? and christmas? seriously??

but there is always something a little bit positive.

i got a letter in the mail, complete with weekly postage via the interweb! thank goodness! i guess all of your prayers worked!

now could you pray that i don't get sick...?

just some common knowledge. you know. things everyone should have already been taught by now.

dear general public of life:
i hope you know that i am doing this for your benefit.
for the record, you've done some things... again... i'm speaking to the general public... that are not what normal people do. so probably watch yourself.
or listen to yourself talk at least.
which shouldn't be hard. since you loooove the sound of your own voice.

1. people usually want to be your friend when you tell the truth. so probably do more of that.
2. don't be someone you're really just not. because it makes you look weird.
3. be nice. everyone likes the nice side of the general public.
4. don't try to be better than everyone else. it will get you no where.
5. don't be jealous. trust me. it will hurt you more than it will help. i've been there before. and let me tell you something. it's anything but a day at the park.
6. lay off, mmk? okay.
7. don't pretend like you know everything about my life. because i can assure you that you don't.
8. dear general public, you will do wonders for yourself if you would just tell the truth.
9. tell the truth.
10. weird. yet again, tell the truth.

please. don't be offended that i have found faults in you lately. you're just not very smart, Public. but you think you are. so that makes things even more awesome. i know. it's harsh. but someone has to tell you. and i'm certainly not afraid.

you are goodbye little week. so goodbye! ...and good riddance. :)

wow. WOW.
could i be any happier that this week is over now?
monday. just boring.
tuesday. intelligent life in the universe exam. failed it.
greaaat.
wednesday. primary documents quiz. you know. where you read fifty different documents and then take a test on what you "learned". oh. then i felt like death was upon me.
thursday. woke up, did homework alllll day long. library to class, class to library. failed a c.i.l. test. awesome.
friday. exam first thing in the morning. with essays. i felt like i was taking an a.p. test... i wonder why... run around like a crazy person getting assignments to professors and such. (and by the "and such" part of that, what i really mean is that i rode to school on a bike today. with a short skirt on. i am such an idiot.)

aaaaand i just finished writing a paper on "who should be the beneficiaries of anthropological research" which was interesting to write, but you know. not exactly what i had planned for my friday night.

so you know. if you're wondering if i'm glad that it's friday, i'm happy to say that now i am. although it was the most stressful day of the week this week, i am happy it's here. and almost over.

is it weird that i find comfort in the fact that i know tomorrow all i'm doing is grocery shopping to fill the void of my empty cupboards and even emptier stomach, deep cleaning my entire house with bleach and lemon scented spray, (p.s. i think my roommates are probably glad i didn't put out a chore chart this week... maddie if you're blog stalking me right now you can't tell me that you're not happy. i know you are glad to be free of the clean freak in 301.) and lastly doing laundry.

and going to this! :) can't wait! i need some encouragement in my life. especially this week.

i have to say...
dear ipod,
you have been my bff this week. thank you so much for supporting me and lifting my chin up when it was so low to the ground. all week. and i mean... ALL WEEK.
you're the best.

anyway...
monday. i'm so excited to greet you again.
bring on next week.
can't possibly be as pathetic as this one was.

...and i hope your weekend will be as lovely as i'm determined to make mine!

ohhh and p.p.s.
carter austin and colton next weekend for a visit!
can't WAIT.
i miss those boys in my life.

maybe is a vicious little word that can slay me? how does she come up with these things...

forgive me.
for this post is looong overdue.
but for the record, keeel me now.
aka kill me now.
keeel is just so much more dramatic. so naturally i felt the need to use it.

there are two big, huge, and anything but brief acknowledgments that need to be addressed.
coincidentally, they go hand in hand.

background on the sitch?

today was the best day of my entire life. and the worst.
first.
sara b. maybe she is my all time fave.
{second only to ingrid of course.}
and maybe her new album came out today.
you're missing out if you haven't thought about buying it.
because you should.
second.
maybe i am in love with a person that has no idea that i breath. or do anything of that nature.
maybe.
i don't know.
just maybe.
and maybe i hate my life when i have to sit in class and hear him talk.
because you know.
maybe i'm in love with him.
again. maybe.

so here goes.

dear sara b:
you know you're my favorite. you know you can hit notes on an unreal level, and you know that those are notes i can only dream of hitting. sometimes i hate you. but not really. because you are sara b. and you've got my back. speaking of which... today. you totally had my back. this song made my day. even if it was for the worst reason ever. which is going to be made known in just a moment. you get me, you really do.

dear best part of my tuesday:
you are the worst dancer ever. and you are really cute when you run. and you are such a nerd that likes classes that i want to run far away from. and i wish we could date. but too bad we can't. please next time we have class together, don't say religious things, or things that make you sound sensitive. because you know. it makes me want to confess to the world that you're my new favorite thing. and i'd love to remain silent about that. so please. next time, just sit. and don't make me hate myself for an hour. p.s. for the record, i breathe. and do other things of that nature.

so then i remembered that i hate my life because it's not complete anymore.

this blog keeps me sane when i'm deprived of art history.
...and how i miss my good friend dearly.
the closest i got to a blissful reunion this semester was anthropology...
which is a wonderful addition to my schedule i might add.
however.
nothing beats the study of t.m.n.t. and the renaissance.

i miss these guys lots.
so here's a tribute to you,
donatello,
michelangelo,
raphael,
and leonardo.
we shall meet again soon.
and hopefully next semester.
i love you,
love, courty.

p.s.
especially you, mr. michelangelo.
thanks for doing the pieta.
it gets me out of bed each morning.
i don't know where i'd be without you, buddy.

it's like you're always stuck in second gear.

i wish i were here right now hearing them. it's kind of the depression of my day.

we left chicken to spill down into the stove last time we made dinner. and it burned all up.
so now our whole house smells like the color black.
it's the worst.
i walked lots today. and i think i'm getting blisters.
plus, i teared up when i was forced to watch a video today about patriotism.
actually i was wiping my really wet eyes.
very sneakishly.
those videos always get to me.
i love my country lots and lots.
and i can't control my tears when people talk about how much they love it too.
but i took these during a break in my day!
and i sort of love them...

and this is what our house looks like.

and i miss this girl.


well. now i have to go to the store for windex. and lysol.
because apparently i buy those things now.
happy thursday.
hang in there. friday is coming.