spoiler alert:

1. k-chen is not the best judge.
2. and probably not the best country music singer either. we need to be honest with ourselves.
3. melko is safe. completely safe. that's a no-brainer.
4. why ashley is wearing long dangly earrings, i will never know.
5. for heaven's sake, ry. this is not the place for lingerie. put some clothes on.
6. oh, look. kitten's locks are back.
7. p.s. ...is that a sticker on her chest? can't get more whit-t than that.
8. choreographed by mary... uhhh...
9. why does the rest of the world insist on keeping jordan alive on this show.
10. thesaurus reference.
11. i feel like miranda has no personality. she dropped it, and it wasn't even hot. who does that?!
12. "mirand-ER" that's the best part of cat deeley.
13. more feather dangle earrings... what is going on?!
14. my mother just informed me that modern dance makes her uncomfortable.
15. you a know you're losing interest in a dance piece when you close your eyes and try to follow the rhythmic patterns of the strings in the accompaniment.
16. ash looks like a barbie. she has barbie legs.
17. there is barely enough room for one of the-oreos in this competition. go home, baby tyce.
18. haha cat's braid. as if she didn't already look super high class.
19. just leave little C at the judge's table. he's probably less help than even kristin.
20. mom just told me that these two make her feel like she is in a magic show. love ya, nance.
21. "definitely. magic." --nance. i tell her it's the sparkly costumes.
22. not unanimous... yeah, shocker there...
23. miranda was better than ashley. how is this happening right now?
24. except, she looks like a curly mouse. that's probably why they're sending her home.
25. plus, her teeth are dracula-y.
26. chris wasn't in the woodpecker dance. that was rob. but cool, nigel.
27. you will be missed urkel.

it is terribly upsetting that there will be more than one tyce next week. again. make the madness stop.  and also, kristin chenoweth, please don't judge this show again. you're worthless.