Hey, sister. I love you more than Khloe loves Kim.

Remember that time Mom and Dad got us matching Gap sweatshirts, and we wore them like cray for at least three weeks straight? That was around the same time that this picture was taken, I assume. Circa 2005. It is a great picture, I might add. Anyway. That's not what this is about. This is about how we're celebrating your birthday today. I'm a big fan of birthdays, you know. But, I'm an even bigger fan of you.

1: Remember that time in Oklahoma when you were playing tennis in the driveway when Keith Mayner walked by and said, "Happy birthday, Amy..." and you said, "Happy birthday, Keith"? Your birthday always reminds me of that day. 

2: Remember that time during CaliVegas when we were riding Big Thunder Mountain and those boys behind us yelled, "NOT THE SIDEWINDERS"?

3: Remember the night I got my first kiss and you were waiting by the door and we silently squealed with excitement when I finally came inside? 

4: Remember how all of my high school friends openly like you better than they like me and ask to hang out with you whenever I come home for the weekend? They tell me you're the cooler version of me. I've never denied it.

5: Remember last summer on our way back from Mexico when we started watching that stupid Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson movie and couldn't stop because we secretly loved it?

6: Remember two weeks ago at the movie theater when you asked those two Indian Men where they got their Red Bulls and they didn't understand you because they didn't speak English and the miscommunication of the whole ordeal just sort of spiraled out of control as you kept trying to explain yourself and instead of helping you out, Becca and I just rolled on the ground laughing, instead? I mean, did it really matter where they got their Red Bulls? Was it worth all that trouble?

7: Remember how there aren't two sisters in this world who think their brothers are as funny as we think ours are? "I AM NOT WET!" --Jake Kearns, Spring Break, 2011.

8: Remember that time Mom & Dad took us to London and all you wanted to do was take the midnight walking tour of Jack The Ripper's murder sites? And, remember how it was maybe the coolest thing ever?

9: Remember how I always get mad at you when you gasp at something while I'm driving?

10: Remember how you're my partner in crime when it comes to torturing Daniel Alvero Herbas?

Dear sister.

Dear, dear sister.

Happy birthday. 

Julie and I think you're the cat's pajamas, the bee's knees, and all those other clichés that we hate. 

Thanks for being the cream to our Oreo.

"Love you. Mean it!"

Love, Kikks.