so then i remembered that i hate my life because it's not complete anymore.

this blog keeps me sane when i'm deprived of art history.
...and how i miss my good friend dearly.
the closest i got to a blissful reunion this semester was anthropology...
which is a wonderful addition to my schedule i might add.
however.
nothing beats the study of t.m.n.t. and the renaissance.

i miss these guys lots.
so here's a tribute to you,
donatello,
michelangelo,
raphael,
and leonardo.
we shall meet again soon.
and hopefully next semester.
i love you,
love, courty.

p.s.
especially you, mr. michelangelo.
thanks for doing the pieta.
it gets me out of bed each morning.
i don't know where i'd be without you, buddy.

my brother does the opposite of beat me up.

i love sister sundays.
thanks jake, court, and lauren. :)

i hope your sunday was as lovely as mine.

it's like you're always stuck in second gear.

i wish i were here right now hearing them. it's kind of the depression of my day.

we left chicken to spill down into the stove last time we made dinner. and it burned all up.
so now our whole house smells like the color black.
it's the worst.
i walked lots today. and i think i'm getting blisters.
plus, i teared up when i was forced to watch a video today about patriotism.
actually i was wiping my really wet eyes.
very sneakishly.
those videos always get to me.
i love my country lots and lots.
and i can't control my tears when people talk about how much they love it too.
but i took these during a break in my day!
and i sort of love them...

and this is what our house looks like.

and i miss this girl.


well. now i have to go to the store for windex. and lysol.
because apparently i buy those things now.
happy thursday.
hang in there. friday is coming.

who doesn't want the scottsman stuck in their head all day?

let me focus on the lovely things.

our living room is a giant. it's the kind of living room that makes the other living rooms jealous.
there is new art in my room.
i am constantly moving.
maybe i'm wearing an edward cullen shirt. and maybe i'm too embarrassed to admit that it's comforting.
austin is visiting us on friday.
logan huntsburger is real. as well as in my ward.
there are hot pockets in the freezer, and lemon bar mix in the pantry.
i made a new friend.

now for the not so lovely... a few brief acknowledgments are in order.

dear school: you are the weirdest.
dear ducks at the dam: you deserve better. i'm sorry.
dear mom and dad: i miss sleeping down the hall from you, and plus i miss family prayer.
dear tooth paste: secretly, you made me really miss home today. so tomorrow, i think i'll go with crest.
dear 1:00 a.m.: you are my bed time these days...
dear random loser who waltzed right into our house today: get your own orange juice.
dear candles: it's killin me not to burn you.
dear obnoxious twin sisters: please stop chomping on your gum while you're sitting behind me in class. and being dumb flirty girls that use words like "righteous" and "dang cool". there are two of you, and one of me. i beg of you. have mercy.
dear becca: why are you everywhere...

overall, it has been weird. not good or bad. just weird. so i'd like it to pick up with the good and roll with that trait for a while. is that too much to ask?

oh. and dear friends that don't blog. or read this. i miss you terribly. just in case you were wondering.

you're not my best friend right now. shape up.

oh room, oh room, oh room.
thank you for storing all of the things in life that i need.
thank you for holding my clothes for 12 years like you have.
thank you for letting me post pictures with tape... even if it does hurt your walls.
thank you for letting me rock out sometimes when i'm alone.
thanks a load for being big enough to have sleepovers in.
thank you for having lots of windows so that i don't have to flip on the light switch.
thank you for watching me grow up.

however.

i really hate you right now.
no, like really.
you're the worst.

you housed old notes from old boyfriends that i had the annoying task of reading this past week.
couldn't you just lose those like i've lost so many more important things in you before?
i'll trade you.
my jolly goat from the great move of '98
for those notes.
you can have them.
i hate those notes.
you won't let me sleep in peace.
you're so friggin' hot, and your fan doesn't work.
you're on the corner of the house, so i don't really like that about you...
and your walls are white.
that thing itself could make a person go ballistic.

anyway...
i love you, but it would help me out if you'd cooperate with me.
because you're composed of boxes and boxes of stuff.
who even knows what that STUFF is!
dear room:
don't get me started on your STUFF.

pppplease just finish packing yourself up.
i'm tired of finding notes that suck.

thank you,
your faithful room attendant,
courtney.

maybe i only brushed my teeth tonight because the toothpaste was pink and sparkly.
i might not have washed my face before i crawled into bed.
and the pilot poster in my room right now looks an awful lot like ashton kutcher.
which i'm fine with.

i hate packing up my room.
and not having new music to listen to while packing up said room.
so now i'm sitting on my bed watching while you were sleeping waiting impatiently for my life to start picking up again.
summer. please just exit with a vote of thanks already. because you're really buggin.

and plus. i'm just now thinking of things that i should maybe have for my new life in a week.
like cookie sheets.
i have never thought so hard about a cookie sheet before.

it took me about a week to decide between two bed spreads.
and i have to take the reject back to the store tomorrow.
so that puts a stitch in my day.

at least sunday was good. very good.
it was my last one as a youth of the 4th ward.
then we had our last little sunday dinner complete with a pork roast and finger leg potatoes.
and how lovely those were.

the lovelies of today were these:
i wore a new skirt.
my hair looked blonder.
i actually did my hair. you know. i didn't just brush it out and go to church with wet hair.
i did it.
i ate so much sugar i could match the sands of the sahara.
aaaand i got to paint my nails whatever color i wanted.

have a great week you trusty followers, you. mine will be filled with bittersweet moving boxes and a daunting closet full of awkward memories.

i wish i weren't sitting at my kitchen table. i think that's clear.

they have sunflowers here.

not real sunflowers, i know. but they have the good ones. the yellow petals with the brown center? you know.

sunflowers.

i love those kinds.

i wish we had some real ones. bigger. ones with lots of seeds that will fall come september. but we don't. because those only grow in fields under the constant sunshine. i wish i had a tuscan sunshine and a field to grow my sunflowers.

the ones with the seeds.

i wish i had a vineyard. a vineyard to sell all types of wine that i wouldn't drink. a vineyard that resembled stripes of thread on a quilt, weaving their way along a fraying edge in clean lines. i wish i could just walk. smell european air that made its debut long before the soil that i'm typing from.

i want big sunflowers and rows of grapes.

to take my bike and run it through the dirt, trying to keep my breath inside of me, but failing to do so. i wish i could ride my bike through florence, the south of france, and tuscany. pulling my hair up into a tight pony tail. you know what i mean. when you pull your hair up. because then it's not in your way. you feel like nothing is in your way now, because you can't see a single whisp of your very own hair. it's pulled up. and you feel like you could ride until the sun came back up again, or went down for good.

a beige skirt and white shoes. no makeup or voices. because they take away from the sepia toned sky. well not really. it's blue. the sky is blue. but you feel like you're in a photograph taken of someone who actually lives this life. so voices and face paint would surely ruin the sky's tint.
obviously.

to be alone in verona.

with the absence of voices, blush, and free falling hair.
laughing at the dappled sunlight on your clean face, and playing in a field of grapes.
they have sunflowers there.

the big ones. ones with seeds.

so that's when i knew that there's nothing better than sprite, pizza, and a pooring rain storm.

soooo i forgot that it's friday today.
but i'm tired of fun facts.

so then i had this idea to make a few brief acknowledgments:

to toaster: why did you break yesterday? you are my only source of breakfast.
to boyfriend: why are you not real.
to patterned tights: thank you for always being there for me when i need you most.
to t-strap shoes: i am your biggest fan.
to nordstom: i wish i could afford everything that you have to offer.
to 15 year old boy at subway: no matter how many times you leave a three dollar tip, you will always make me feel creeped out. i'm sorry. cut your hair and maybe we'll talk.
to face: please stop peeling. it's getting increasingly hard to put my makeup on.
to blackhead strip: we're in love. it's new, so forgive yourself for not realizing.
to shorts: i can't wait to trade you in for a nice long pair of skinny jeans.
to school clothes: i'm counting down the days until i can wear you. you're reeaally pretty. :)
to school: i don't know how i feel about starting you. we'll talk in two, three weeks tops.
to last pedicure: you suck.
to movies: i would watch you all day if i could.
to grey's: wow. you're addicting. and i watched 8 hours of you in the past two days.
to work: you're fun and i'm going to miss you. :(
to sweatshirts: can't wait to unpack you from boxes!
to red lipstick: let's give it a go, what do you say...?
to eat. pray. love.: can't wait until we meet!
to haircut: i can't wait.
to boy meets world: you're the best show to ever grace my childhood. and newly found adulthood. ironically enough.
to brother jake: whenever you laugh at something, it makes it way funnier than it was before. i don't know why.
to sprite: welcome back to my life. i've missed you. now could you please convince your cousin remix to come back? i miss her.

love, courty.

happy weekend!

that time when i became unhealthily obsessed with polaroids.

did i mention that i like polaroids?
because i do.

here is the lovely i found today.
p.s.
my new way of using the word lovely.
is as a noun.

i found this little gem in my library today.
we went sledding this day at an elementary school.
so naturally i polaroided it.
yes. polaroided.
it's a verb.

my new favorites.

domo, {which because i am art history obsessed, i always want to call duomo... as in brunelleschi's. any takers? no? hm. wrong venue.}
****
this little magazine clipping i snagged the other day.
i'm madly in like with it.
****
and that little awkward wanna-roid on the end there?
that guy has a happy things story.
i ate all of my chicken pot pie.
then i looked down. and realized that the only things left on my plate were peas.
subconsciously, i didn't eat the peas.
i picked those little guys out without even noticing.
i'm the 5 year old that hates peas.
but clandestinely, i love that i hate peas.
i don't know why.
it's times like these when i wonder if i'll ever grow up.


except that i did grow up today.
because...
i... being 18 and all... got myself a blockbuster card and sold that video store out of grey's.
then found these faded glories of my pretty mountain.
and the temple that brings so much happiness to our little valley. :)


and then i plugged in mat kearney and drove up to the happiest place on earth.
and all was bliss.

temple deserved its own spot.
i was awfully pleased with this view.
i really really love my church.

i smudged it.
would you believe this?
my iphone ap gets smudged.
now that's quality polaroid.

i sure am going to miss this view.
my porch is the best way to visit the wasatch mountains.
please don't argue.

in other news...

i cried today when i drove down fort street.
i really love home.
thunder was breaking the sky and the clouds were folding into each other.
yet all i could see was lightening.
lots happened above our house tonight.

i didn't eat all day.
because i felt like my poor stomach was dying.
but then tonight i was hungry.
and the fridge was calling my name.
and so now i have a new favorite thing to do.

so then i sat cross-legged on the kitchen counter listening to the crunchy thunder
eating strawberry yogurt and the pc honey butter on toast.
and i was all alone.
and i shook when the thunder got really loud.
and i really liked it.
secretly.

p.s.
i think everyone deserves an iphone.
because there are too many moments that i'm so glad i catch.
without my friend iphone granny smith {because she's lime green}
i would lose those.
so do yourself a favor.
go buy yourself a niiiiice iphone.
you deserve it.


and for the record, i'm still happy.
happy goodnight! i hope you find lovely in your night tonight!

intoxicated by happy.

i really love to be happy.

and i also love:

sacrificing my pretty sleep for 500 days of summer.
that i have a polaroid ap that lets me take lovely pictures.
saying the word lovely.
that i might start this movie over again and watch it until the end. again.
that it's 2 in the morning, and i have no intention of going to bed.
that i have the mid-shift at the hot dog stand two days in a row. :)
that i'm lying in a big bed right now with lots of pillows and the fan on high.
that my mom and i had a talk sunday night about nothing.
my happy, brilliant, wonderful, dear sweet mother who loves me just because i exist.
that i get to move in two and a half weeks and meet people who don't know anything about me.
that i'm turning into someone i want to be. it has taken me a while, and i'm still working on it. but i'm close. i can feel it.
that i bought pretty flowered patterned tights today.
the word pretty.
that i don't know what love really is yet. i can't wait until i find out. it gives me butterflies just to think about.
getting butterflies.
my iphone.
studded earrings.
music.
old grey t-shirts.
art galleries.
sushi.
sneezing.
ironed clothes.
it when a boy leaves on a mission.
it when a boy comes home from a mission and shows the world his awkward side.
that before i go to bed, a bowl of life cereal always sounds appetizing.
to fall in like. it happens to me about once a day in various categories.
hearing bits of conversations and writing them down so i can look at them later.
writing things down.
my friends that i will miss so much when i get outta town.
mushaboom.
joseph gordon levitt.
dreaming.
t.v.s with antennae.
movies with an honest script.
flowers that look like baloons.
red finger nail polish.
circlular diamonds.
the reality and expectation scene that makes this movie greater than it already is.
an lds boy.
bow ties.

today, i was intoxicated with happy.

but i must report the week as well.


i'm back from pc. the fam is gone and i am sad. but i feel a little bit of structure seeping into my life again, and it feels good. in all honesty, good isn't the right word. i feel clean. structure makes me feel clean.

you know, clean.

like as in you just got out of the shower, and you feel like you can take a deep breath. that is, unless the bathroom is not clean. in that case, you feel dirtier than when you got in.

but my bathroom is clean.
so i can take a deep breath.
and breath in that beautiful structure.
:)

in the pc last week, we had quite the little storm.
what an understatement that was.

it was like a clash of the titans up there.
but the sky fell, and all was wonderful.

here are a few pictures of what we saw in that little mountain town that wants to be german.

our view into wonderful rain.

i loved this.

...and this.

oh. and i loved photo-shopping this.

we played no peaky leaky, {or i wanna leak a peaky} jammed to sara, drove through that stunning canyon, shopped at the outlets, and ate like kings. among other things.

but back to my night of blithe emotions.

i've been polaroiding.
and loving it.

a few weeks to go until the split.
and i'm spending my time snapping digital polaroids of the people i love to love.
so here are some samples of my first ones.

i really love my best friend.
and how upside down tacos make great smiles.

our missionary friend.

polaroid lovin.

this picture says so much. by saying so little.

a few lovely people.

it was all just so blissful.
i am so happy that happy loves me too. :)


happy intoxication day!

and then i was sitting at my kitchen table freaking out over a bunch of music.

so i discovered something that took my breath away...

ingrid. in the venue.

sara. the avalon.


there aren't words for how i feel about this coming fall.
except for

happy music hunting. :)