it is all going to be alright.

yes, that is true.
because the kitchen was full of uncontrollable giggling,
i had a brinner date with two eggos,
and thick and hefty envelopes full of words like honey sure do put me in a happy place...
[the happiest, actually.]
reassuring me that my life is still semi on track,
and it's fine that i'm a mess.
in fact, i'm rather perfectly fine with being a mess.

plus, i was introduced to telephone charades tonight.
which can only make a day better.

h.(have) a.(a) g.(good) s.(sunday)

as i was sifting through my messy computer, trying to organize my crazy,

i found a few things.

happy pills for your sunday evening.

some reasons why i'm smiley:

 master william. in a pioneer bonnet.

 john davis.

get yourself some nephews, seriously.

 true love.

{10 years last week! love it.}

baby girl.

^ theirs, to be exact.

like i said, true love.

hand holding.

 e'rything about this picture.

red head.

 paper planes in the kitchen on the first day of school.

this was a going away present from my mother.

who apparently still thinks i am thirteen years old.

but i absolutely love it.

so i guess she knows me better than i know myself.

bless moms.

 carter is full of surprises. 

and profanities. 

move on.

my autumn hair.

i'm itching for bangs again...

and also missing my wannaroids.

also.

color me katie?

i'm reading her tonight.

and loving every second of it.

{happy sabbath.}

today was the first daybreak drive of the season,

and i sure did love it.
and because i'm so in love with the oquirrh mountain area, i spend an hour a week on a drive around daybreak in the summertime. woah. preposition overload. sorry. anyway. the drive offers my brain and i five seconds alone to bounce ideas off of one another. such time is much needed in order to keep altercations away throughout the week. conversation seldom turns ugly, however, i have been known to be awake all night with a brain that won't stop chatting.

but for the most part, i like my brain.

favorite discovery of the adventure:

this.

also,

i purchased some new tights and shoes. which was bril.
we all know that nothing makes this girl happier than lace and tights.
well. some things do. like babies, and sour candy, and pools.
but roll with it.

{happy sabbath.}

i have a crush on john cusak. which doesn't have anything to do with this post, but it's true. and i thought you should know.

the good news is, melancholy... gone. no grey's anatomy today; i think we've solved our case, watson.
and the other good news is the absence of bad news.

yes, it is close to five o'clock in the morning, and i'm sitting at my kitchen counter writing this. and dreaming of a day when it will feel all fine and well to go to bed before the latest hours of the morning. i just cannot bring myself to do such a thing when i have three days left of my freshman year. there are too many games to be played, movies to be watched, friends to be made... and i guess i should mention the studying. {that was for you, mom.} besides that, i was thinking about myself a few minutes ago, something i admittedly do all too often. {you do it too. it is easier if you just admit it.} and i remembered how much i liked fun facts.  so here we go:

i shower in the morning and at night. the just clean feeling upon hitting the sheets is possibly the best one on earth.
i swear by jergen's ultra healing lotion.
i don't feel pretty until i'm wearing earrings.
i'm an avid chapstick wash and dryer. i am certainly no stranger to unchecked pant pockets and broken chapstick.
making people feel stupid unsettles me, so i'll probably laugh at any joke you tell. unless i don't like you... that's a different story. and in that case, i'm pretty sassy. i'm working on it...
i like boys that use big words and say dumb things. paradoxical, but charming.
flattened marker tips drive me absolutely up the wall, and i refuse to use them.

{good morning, and happy sabbath.}

 

six weeks to a love affair with the blarney stone.

it's times like these where i wish i didn't have to drive two hours north in the morning.
and for the record,
elder uchtdorf said everything that i needed to hear today.
the Lord gives us answers when we pray, and i love my church for teaching me that. it was a lovely sunday, filled with words of our prophets. thirst quenching, if you will.

i hope you were in love with your sunday like i was.
that hope is co-mingled with the same hope that i wish for your monday morning.
and also, i hope your monday is full of less driving than mine.

good night. followers. and kelsey g.c. ;)

sieze the day, broom hilda.

i need to be doing laundry right now.
...but i'm not.

aaaaand i'm itching to get back to logan!
seriously. i love that little town more than i could ever explain to you. and for reasons unknown.

also, i love vampire diaries. it is my newest obsession. and i bought the first season. and am watching it through for the second time as we speak. kenz, miss, and i catch ourselves playing a new game that we halfway made up. it's called, what if: vamp dies edition. it's where we say things like...

"would you rather have your legs nailed to a chair like harper, or be injected with vervain like stefan?"

and then it results in explanations, reasoning behind such choices. i fear that we have become trekkies. vampire style.

the salvatore brothers and i, well. we're kind of best friends now... and i hope that it progresses into a complicated love triangle one day. not to mention, i was jb obsessed again today. we're also best friends. too much pop culture for one day? never. {say never. taha...}

for the first time in a long time, i'm ready for monday. i'm going to the art museum for an introduction on historical preservation of art... and am too excited to sleep! can you say, nerd?

the worst part of my weekend?

this kid was no where to be seen.
m.i.a. from my weekend... which is absurdly abnormal.
this goes out to my good friend, doireann doane: i hope your pizza and laser tagging was fantastic. if i had to lose the battle to someone, i'm glad it was you. you're a worthy opponent.
but still... i missed you, mattie! next weekend?



{happy sabbath... and happy monday morning!}

little love letters.

i just think this is charming.

i don't know about you... but i have a book dedicated to little letters much the same as these. because again. i think they're charming.
and you don't have to if you don't want. but just let me keep on thinking that they're wonderful.
okay?

i just thought i'd share this little lovely with you.

{happy sabbath.}

time is of the essence. and goals are not for wusses.

one month mark, folks.

twenty three more months, friends.
this will be cake.

the letters are coming at a steady pace now. weekly even! {relatively.}
which keeps me sane, happy, and forces me to preserve whatever writing skills i have.
and having someone to answer to when my book of mormon reading has lacked is always a plus.
also known as when i become a slacker, the elder tells me what's up.
see also: courtney doesn't read scriptures on vacation, and gets scolded for it later.

boo me.

needless to say, hello new year equals i will get through alma if it's the last thing i do.
{don't you try and tell me that it's not the hardest and most daunting one to read. we'll all know you're faking it.}

so while i hope all of your goals will stay cuddly and warm inside of your head this year, i'm starting out slow.
one book and one month at a time.
chipping away at the 15 books, and making a large dent in 23 months.

good night, kids.

so i got tagged...

i feel so honored to be tagged in someone else's post! thanks court! love ya! ;)

1. What is your dream job and why?
being a curator for a museum like the met, or the louvre, musee d'orsay, the british museum etc. it is my dream to stand on the sidelines of some of the greatest works in all of the history of art and learn an relearn about them daily.

2. What is your all time favorite TV show or movie?

weirdly, i think it's that 70's show for my favorite t.v. show. there are a lot. but that 70's show can make me laugh no matter how many times i have seen the episode. i loooove it. my all time favorite movie is even harder. i'm going to have to say it's a tie between 500 days of summer, and my best friend's wedding. i guess i'm a sucker for an unhappy ending...
3. Where is your ideal place to live?
easy. a tiny old house on a giant field of green grass that over looks the cliffs of moher in ireland. it would rain every single day and i could wear sweaters and rainboots forever.

4. What is your biggest pet peeve?
girls that can't control their hormones and flirt constantly. ew. just breathe. you'll get married. i promise.

5. What is the first thing you'd buy if you won a million dollars?
tights. all sorts of tights. and then probably a car... maybe in reverse order.

6. What is you're worst fear?
being buried alive in a graveyard to die... scary...

7. If you could be any celebrity who would you be?
zooey deschanel. she is really great.

8. Go to the 8th picture in your fourth album and tell me the story behind it!

little will...
i loooove this picture like nothing else in the whole world.
william andrew rose is my nephew.
so this was during the summer. we were shopping for hours and hours and got bored. our attention spans are most likely the exact same... this was in the makeup aisle. it was a very hot day in the middle of july and i loved it. william is my little buddy and i love his bright red hair. he is the cutest. it never ceases to amaze me that he is four years old, a little boy, and still wants to be my best friend whenever he sees me. i feel like we're attached at the hip when he comes into town. i love that little boy so much! :)

now it's time for some tagging of my own... :)

alex saxton.
megan sanders-smith.
caitlin craig... (yeah that's right. i tagged you. get to blogging caity caity shady lady!)
maddie air-boss.
marissa lynne miller.

1. what is your absolute favorite line from a movie?
2. what is your favorite halloween tradition?
3. what is your favorite seasonal clothing to wear and why?
4. what is your favorite part about weddings?
5. at what point in your day do you find yourself the most exhausted?
6. in all seriousness, what could you just honestly not live without?
7. if you could be anyone in the world, this century or before, who would you choose to be?
8. what is your favorite way to unwind from a completely ridiculous day full of chaos?

the anticdote to my unhealthy school filled life and how the weekend healed me.

cleaning checks.
hot room.
hot house for that matter.
dang that heater...
missing mother.
missing sister.
wish i had no school.
hating people.
which i shouldn't do.
but it's too hard.
occasionally hating life.
but not very often.
need new music.
can't wait for ingrid.
and sara.
hate the voices.
and the noise.
like people practicing brass instruments in the hall.
who does that...
anyway.
i hate the comments.
among other things...

but what a lovely little weekend. :)

i had a mom.
and a sister.
and lots of other sisters.
shopped at target.
swam in my pool.
cuddled with my kitty.
loved seeing densley.
and haley.
bought sweater tights.
grocery shopped in my mom's storage room.
missed my dad.
played wedding games.
stayed far away from friends.
had some family love.

and now i feel healed.

how was your weekend? lovely? let's hope so. :)

while i'm thinking of it...
here's to one day...
when i'll be cleaning up a sunday dinner made for lots more than a loner, and planning out my meals for the next week.
when i'm not in a dorm, but a fixer-upper in progress. rickety boards and faded white wood.
when i've traded in roommates for a husband. that's weird.
when i have money to shop at target.
when i have way more pairs of tights than i'll ever need. wait. not possible.
when i have more tights.
when i'm graduated.
when i don't have to walk up three flights of stairs to get to my twin bed.
when i don't have a twin bed.
when i don't have a cracked iphone.
when i have experienced florence.
when i study art at the met.
when i'm actually who i'm thinking about right now.

here's to that one day in the far off future.
ugh.

happy sunday. :)

men are that they might have joy. i exist to be happy. :)

home is weird.
because it's no longer located in draper utah.
and it makes me feel like my life is going on without me.
except that it's not. i just have a new life.
again. terribly weird.

yet, i love it?

and it's new for me. because for the first time in a long time, i'm completely
intoxicated by happy. wanna know why?
okay. i'll tell you.

so there was this one time where i was dark and twisty.
i think there was a point in time for approximately two years in high school where my favorite color was grey.
so that should have been a red flag.
but anyway.
so when i was all sad about everything, i didn't understand what was happening.
i didn't know why i wasn't happy,
i didn't know when all of the unhappiness was going to end,
i was mad at several individuals for various reasons.
ie...
breaking my heart.
making decisions that should have been made by me.
not saying sorry.
being mean.
anyway.
so i just came to a realization.
today.
i know. today.
i used to pray. hard. and a lot. and nothing would come. i wasn't angry, i was just bugged.
kind of like, "hey heavenly father. remember me? remember how you said that you would protect me from bad things and mean people? remember that? so where are you, and what have you done with my best friend that used to help me out all the time?"
i'm sure that he just laughed and laughed.
"come on, courty. you're not this dark twisted soul." i'm pretty sure he said that in his head.
he probably was just waiting impatiently until this day, september 5, when i would flick on the light switch in my brain.
knowing him, he wanted me to get here faster than i did.
but boy am i glad he didn't intervene.

today in church, my heart was softened.
we read a scripture in doctrine and covenants section 6, verses 22 and 23.
that lovely little scripture has brought me so much joy on this one little sunday than i have had in a long, long time.

"{courty, courty, courty...} verily, verily, i say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. {if you don't remember anything i have ever said, will you remember that time when you felt the spirit so strongly? that first time you began to build a testimony? do you remember how you felt? like i wouldn't leave you?} did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? {did i not tell you that i would hand you a trial every once in a while, but you'd be okay? i promised you that you would come out on top. remember that?} what greater witness can you have than from God? {what else do you want me to say? i keep my promises.}"

my word.
goose bumps prickled my legs and arms the second i read that.
who am i to doubt him? he is bound when i just keep his commandments.
whether it takes two years of watching unpleasant things unfold before my eyes or not,
if i keep praying and doing his will, he's going to bless me.
and he has. way more than i deserve.
though the last few years were rough, i feel like heavenly father is blessing me for sticking them out.
i am pleased to state that my favorite color is now canary yellow.
those weirdo years, they were the worst. but now, Heavenly Father has blessed me with new friends, no familiar couple faces, a brand new life, and a chance to hit the restart button.
even when i cried and cried to him on bended knee, expecting his results to be much the same as a box of instant pudding, he had a different plan for me. which i am so grateful for.
i will never doubt him ever again.
obviously he knows me better than i know myself.
and loves me too. :)
thank goodness for the scriptures
and my best friend that lives to help me.
even when i don't believe him.

so to wrap it up...
men are that they might have joy.
and today my joy is based off of probably the smallest trial i will encounter in my life.
so bring on the big ones, baby.
i'm ready to trust again.

have a wonderful sunday.
and don't forget to talk to Heavenly Father.
he's waiting to bless you.
:)

my brother does the opposite of beat me up.

i love sister sundays.
thanks jake, court, and lauren. :)

i hope your sunday was as lovely as mine.

maybe i only brushed my teeth tonight because the toothpaste was pink and sparkly.
i might not have washed my face before i crawled into bed.
and the pilot poster in my room right now looks an awful lot like ashton kutcher.
which i'm fine with.

i hate packing up my room.
and not having new music to listen to while packing up said room.
so now i'm sitting on my bed watching while you were sleeping waiting impatiently for my life to start picking up again.
summer. please just exit with a vote of thanks already. because you're really buggin.

and plus. i'm just now thinking of things that i should maybe have for my new life in a week.
like cookie sheets.
i have never thought so hard about a cookie sheet before.

it took me about a week to decide between two bed spreads.
and i have to take the reject back to the store tomorrow.
so that puts a stitch in my day.

at least sunday was good. very good.
it was my last one as a youth of the 4th ward.
then we had our last little sunday dinner complete with a pork roast and finger leg potatoes.
and how lovely those were.

the lovelies of today were these:
i wore a new skirt.
my hair looked blonder.
i actually did my hair. you know. i didn't just brush it out and go to church with wet hair.
i did it.
i ate so much sugar i could match the sands of the sahara.
aaaand i got to paint my nails whatever color i wanted.

have a great week you trusty followers, you. mine will be filled with bittersweet moving boxes and a daunting closet full of awkward memories.