This was my week. Every day.
I spent more time in the library this week than I spent at my apartment. I ate all my meals in the car, on my way to campus or actually on campus. I shuffled from work to school to workshop to yadayadayada... It was exhausting. One more paper to turn in tomorrow and then I'm off the grid until Monday.
Tonight, I talked to my best friend, Kelsey on the phone. She graduated in May and is now teaching high school English at a very progressive charter school in Utah Valley. When questioned my decision and told her I wish I wasn't writing all these papers and finishing up all of this busy work, she tried to raise my spirits by telling me that it was almost over--to just hold out until May. You know. Stuff they all keep trying to tell me. But nothing hit me like the last thing she said:
"Getting a degree was the best thing I ever did. Knowing that I've done something hard--something really, really hard that only a tiny fraction of the world has done before--is incredibly rewarding."
Late nights in the library, I'm going to remember that. This is important stuff. College is important and the hardest weeks will be the ones you remember most, right?
If you're looking for a sign, something to get you back to school, this is it. I promise you, it's worth it. Hard, like, the hardest thing I've ever done, but when I'm not running on four hours of sleep, my life feels wasted because I'm not consuming the world, not devouring books or arguing the differences between dramatic and cosmic irony, oxymoron and paradox. And that's not a life I want, anyway.
So go to school.
Do the hard thing.