March 18, 2014


*CAUTION: too much information.*

I went to the dermatologist's office a week ago and it was maybe the best day of my life. He prescribed me a tube of miracle gel that takes all of the sadness away from my skin (except, he might've seen like, wayyyy too much of me because those sheet-robes can only do so much, but it was worth it).

I'm going through this weird stage where I'm trying to muster up the courage to make an OBGYN appointment without getting too freaked out by it. My best girlfriends and I have an ongoing group text message conversation that pretty much only addresses menstrual cycle abnormalities, trustworthy gynecologists, and bridesmaid dresses. Rated "M" for "Man, I'm glad I have girlfriends".

I don't know that I've mentioned my cold sore situation, but I've got one. And if you struggle with this, girrrrrrrl, I GET YOU. I got really sick with the virus when I was in the sixth grade, and ever since, it has been fever blister after fever blister. So bad, in fact, that I have to use a numbing cream and I take pills prescribed by my dentist.

Why am I giving you a brief rundown of my medical history? Because I am, only now, starting to realize just how expensive it is to keep myself alive. That magic tube from the dermatologist? Retail price: $736. With health insurance, it cost me nothing. My lip cream runs about $60 per 5mm. I have three tubes and two refills, which would cost well over $1200. With health insurance, I literally pay zero dollars. Last week, I had an ear infection that hurt like hell. The doctor gave me a ten day dosage of Amoxicillin. I have no idea what stuff like that costs to supply, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's not cheap. Didn't cost me a dime.

I can't stop thinking about how I'm just a kid! Still on my dad's insurance plan! It has never even crossed my mind that one day, I'll need a job with big, hearty benefits. A meaty salary. Vacation days. I have to buy a new car before next year. I have to start paying off student loans come January. What do people do in these situations? How do they get it together? HOW THE _____ AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT PANIC?

Adulthood blows, know what I mean?


  1. And then it's like...hey, wanna graduate from college next month and it's like no. And it's like....I haven't been grocery shopping in 5 weeks and what is laundry.
    And it's like... what if I never get married and I end up a 48 year old spinster and I get into insane credit card debt?
    And do you know how expensive it even is to replace the lid of the gas tank on a car?


    p.s. Ziana. ZIANA YOU BLESSED. Gotta tube I heart.

  2. We recently started paying for my health insurance, and are looking into life insurance. So that in case Drew dies I won't have to marry the first man with a career who comes along in order to support myself.

    I mean, what is that? Hey, pay us money every month just in case the thing you most dread happens. Chances are, it won't. But IF IT DOES!!

    Good grief. But really, personally, I have an adult panic attack quarterly. So at least you aren't alone.

  3. Funny thang we were just group texting about this!
    Good thing I'm going to work for the government and they'll totes hook me up with benefits! WHAT WHAT!? #englishteachersolutions #notprobs #newhashtag


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