*CAUTION: too much information.*
I'm going through this weird stage where I'm trying to muster up the courage to make an OBGYN appointment without getting too freaked out by it. My best girlfriends and I have an ongoing group text message conversation that pretty much only addresses menstrual cycle abnormalities, trustworthy gynecologists, and bridesmaid dresses. Rated "M" for "Man, I'm glad I have girlfriends".
I don't know that I've mentioned my cold sore situation, but I've got one. And if you struggle with this, girrrrrrrl, I GET YOU. I got really sick with the virus when I was in the sixth grade, and ever since, it has been fever blister after fever blister. So bad, in fact, that I have to use a numbing cream and I take pills prescribed by my dentist.
Why am I giving you a brief rundown of my medical history? Because I am, only now, starting to realize just how expensive it is to keep myself alive. That magic tube from the dermatologist? Retail price: $736. With health insurance, it cost me nothing. My lip cream runs about $60 per 5mm. I have three tubes and two refills, which would cost well over $1200. With health insurance, I literally pay zero dollars. Last week, I had an ear infection that hurt like hell. The doctor gave me a ten day dosage of Amoxicillin. I have no idea what stuff like that costs to supply, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's not cheap. Didn't cost me a dime.
I can't stop thinking about how I'm just a kid! Still on my dad's insurance plan! It has never even crossed my mind that one day, I'll need a job with big, hearty benefits. A meaty salary. Vacation days. I have to buy a new car before next year. I have to start paying off student loans come January. What do people do in these situations? How do they get it together? HOW THE _____ AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT PANIC?
Adulthood blows, know what I mean?