pining for the rond de jambe.

it's simple, really. it's not hard.

i had a moment today. it was a missing moment.
you know, those moments where you just feel like something is missing?

now, forgive me for becoming absurdly abstract.


i saw a picture tonight; i saw a picture in my mind of that charming little sea: the charming sea of blissful confusion. i'm not sure if i am seduced by that phrase because of the way the consonants participate in a series of playful banter, back and forth, or it's just... true.

in my brain's canvas, the salt water was pink. the sky, a burnt orange, and i was not alone. aftertaste mentha sparkled my tongue and i somehow forgot what the rain felt like. i was swimming in circles. they were bewitching little things, beckoning me to fall victim to the way they said goodnight. i felt my eyes begin to abate, like carmen's final curtain! closing my eyes in salt water has never tasted so sweet. admitting defeat--submitting to the takeover of the strange sea that now possessed me--i began to drown. my splash kicking had transformed into repeated rond de jambes, forcing my swim into a dozen ballets. any sort of mutterance that i could pronounce would may as well be better served by mozart's taste of death. was i feeling it now upon my own lips? unlike anything of this earth, claims he. well yes, that is the fondness i pine for.

though years later, i can't understand how i sunk so low. to willingly tie a tag to my wrist and float to the bottom of that ocean. i must have been sixteen. sixteen and smitten by a thought that the sea was real and blissful.

but here i am, cold and dry. and still preferring the former.

just some common knowledge. you know. things everyone should have already been taught by now.

dear general public of life:
i hope you know that i am doing this for your benefit.
for the record, you've done some things... again... i'm speaking to the general public... that are not what normal people do. so probably watch yourself.
or listen to yourself talk at least.
which shouldn't be hard. since you loooove the sound of your own voice.

1. people usually want to be your friend when you tell the truth. so probably do more of that.
2. don't be someone you're really just not. because it makes you look weird.
3. be nice. everyone likes the nice side of the general public.
4. don't try to be better than everyone else. it will get you no where.
5. don't be jealous. trust me. it will hurt you more than it will help. i've been there before. and let me tell you something. it's anything but a day at the park.
6. lay off, mmk? okay.
7. don't pretend like you know everything about my life. because i can assure you that you don't.
8. dear general public, you will do wonders for yourself if you would just tell the truth.
9. tell the truth.
10. weird. yet again, tell the truth.

please. don't be offended that i have found faults in you lately. you're just not very smart, Public. but you think you are. so that makes things even more awesome. i know. it's harsh. but someone has to tell you. and i'm certainly not afraid.