I can't get any writing done, and it's weird for me. Like, nothing. The other day, I sat at the library for hours and couldn't get anything written. Lately, nothing happens when I get in front of the computer screen.
I'm going through this phase in my life where I'm not happy with the way things are. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I live in a place that can't do very much for me. I'm graduating in just a semester and after that, it's hit the ground running time. And you know, it's very frustrating because so many people tell me that I've got all of this potential, but I haven't the slightest idea what to do with it. Do you know what that feels like? It feels like I'd be an idiot to go back to where I came from, which is my parents' basement.
I'm bright. I try to talk myself out of thinking that a lot, but I know that I am. I am intelligent. I don't mean book smart, I mean culturally, I know a lot of things. Probably about celebrities, I know mostly all of the things. And sometimes I'm funny. I'm not stand up comedian funny by any means. My friends are far better with off-the-cuff jokes than I'll ever be, and I know that. But get me in a room by myself, I can write up a damn fine page of wit. That's what I'm good at; that's what I love. I'm a grammar wizard. Sometimes I mess up, obviously, don't hold it against me, but I've got an ear and an eye for all things words, and it's probably my only talent. Also, I am so good at baking. I don't know.
I know that I want a family some day. I know that I want a husband, a few kids, a garden, a car that doesn't have 300,000 miles on it, but before all of that, I think I want to test myself out and see what I can do on my own. I'm thirsty for the thrill that comes from hard work and long hours in a writer's room.
So, I have been watching A LOT of The Office. And if you've been reading this blog over the past month, you know that. And I'm sorry that it's all I ever talk about. I think my roommates are ready for the obsession to end because I literally can't go ten minutes without referencing that one time Michael had a funeral for the bird that flew into the glass window, or the episode where Dwight starts a fire so he can have a drill and Angela throws her cat up in the ceiling. I've met a few people who've told me "That's what she said" had a fun run, but it's over, and I just can't agree with it. There will never be a time when that's not a funny one-liner. I'm sorry. It's a comedy classic, and if you don't get that, I don't really think you get the comedy our culture has created. Anyway, tonight, I watched the bonus special that was on just before the series finale aired last spring, and at the very end, John Krasinski says that he hopes one day, someone will create something big and they'll be able to say that it was "The Office" that inspired them. And friends, I'm going to do it. Because dream like nobody's watching, or maybe that's not the phrase, but do it anyway because you want to and it sounds good.
Also, I cried multiple times while watching this video. AND THAT'S OKAY.