October 15, 2012

noteworthy banter.

over the past few weeks, i have been keeping an ongoing note on my cell phone of conversation snippets that i have heard all around me, ones that i found particularly funny. i learned this practice from a creative writing teacher my junior year of high school, and have continued to do it ever since. writing it all down helps me to see how funny and great and beautiful and downright wonderful life is. i think i often forget these things when i'm stressed about wasting three grand in tuition money for a semester of classes that i don't even need.

ah. c'est la vie, right?

 here is a picture from this weekend.
my cat came home. remember when he peaced out on me?
turns out it was more of a vacation.
i cried when he was found. real tears.

"my boss just got divorced. it's making my life a hell of a lot easier."

"can i pay you in frogurt gift cards?"
"why, yes. i take all tenders of cash."

"i have an addiction to buying strawberries."

"i'm just afraid that i'm not qualified for any of [the jobs]. like, for example, i have no idea how to use microsoft excel spreadsheets."
"they do that just to weed out the people who don't know how to use computers; they do that to weed out the illiterate. and the senior citizens."

(in reaction to a movie trailer...)
"i cried in that movie."
(another trailer comes on...)
"i cried in that movie, too."
"you cried... in james bond...?"

"remember that part with the zombies, when the people are walking down the highway, and the zombies come walking towards them? well, that's my biggest fear. but also, i wouldn't be made if it happened to me... because it's kind of my secret hope, as well..."

"do you even know how many times i have been spanked today? too many."

"i feel like i've just been emotionally shang-hai'd!"

(unsimpathetically) "she talks like she's been to war."

"i got really obsessed with bill cosby the other day."

"did you want paper or plastic?"
"so... paper or plastic, then?"

"that is clearly a drawing of a daddy long leg. be not mistaken. actually, i'm not exactly sure how you can even question it in the first place. those legs are obviously telling of the species."
"i'm sorry we are not all abreast on the classifications of arachnids..."

(girl has pen in mouth. boy sitting next to her, reaches over, takes out pen.)
"whoops! uh-oh! see, that's cute, but yucky and inappropriate for this particular setting."


  1. Love this. You should write a book about our lives. It would be so funny.

  2. Seriously... You are so awesome. Write a book.

  3. What a fabulous idea. I wish it was mine.


i like words. and you. write me a few?